TYPES OF RELATIONSHIP STATUSES & THEIR INTERPRETATIONS

Here's a quick comment on HOW WOMEN PICK MATES VS FLINGS

Brief exploration of DIFFERENT TYPES OF RELATIONSHIP STATUSES AND THEIR POSSIBLE INTERPRETATIONS



The previous article 'How Women Pick Mates Vs. Flings' is a very interesting one. It does makes sense though. Initially, males with strong masculine features tend to stand out, i.e. soap opera guys??...:D:D:D They draw attention first hand as opposed to males with feminine features. Guys who do not have as much testosterone can better relate to the female species, which is a plus too. Actually, guys who are in touch with their feminine side has the advantage to draw the girls in and is able to emotionally bond with them, so much so that it becomes a challenge for the girls to resist and to let go once the attachment is well-formed and solid. This is very true because emotional attachment is much more deeper and stronger than physical attachment. And I see this repeatedly amongst friends. They are physically single, but emotionally unavailable due to deep-rooted emotional attachment they have for another person.

Nowadays, it is a good idea to rephrase the question : 'Are you single?' into : 'Are you single and emotionally available?' Initially, sometimes people do appear to be single, but do take the time to get to know where someone exactly is, physically, emotionally, and mentally. People are uncertain about their relationship status these days and many carry emotional baggage. The most common scenario is immediately after a break-up, someone is obviously single, physically. But most likely, they are still emotionally occupied for a while. Not to mention, they may have their mindset somewhere else other than being in a relationship and/or that having a relationship (status) may not be a concern in their mind at all.

I have a friendster account and what people indicate as a relationship status does not necessarily reflect what is true in life. It only includes 5 categories : Single, In A Relationship, Married, Domestic Partner, OR It's Complicated. It does not allow multiple statuses, which many people sometimes have depending where they are. May be it should ask when, where, and how your indicated status applies to you.

Sometimes they are 'single' in the US, but not out of state nor overseas. May be they are 'it's complicated' everywhere in the globe except where they call home. Different area codes, regions, countries may require different statuses. People are not that simple. It does not provide us with a blank to fill in just in case we do not fall into any of the above categories nor a little space for us to explain any further details if we feel like it. It is too simplistic. When 'it's complicated', I wonder is it 'it's complicated' because they are seriously dating a few or are they playing the field with nothing further in mind in terms of establishing a commitment/status? Or, is it complicated because they cannot make up their mind with just one person? Sometimes, depending who asks the question, people are 'single', 'married' and 'in a relationship' all at the same time, OR none of the above. Different people may get different answers from the same person who is being asked. I have seen people, intentionally or not, straddle the fence so they can play both sides of the fence because they have a need to have a safety net or they don't want to miss out just in case something better comes up. And then there are those who leaves their status undeclared or is uncomfortable and apprehensive when questions sorrounding this issue comes up. Or, may be the reason is that it takes the fun out of the game when a status has been declared. Still, there are those whose specialty is to pursue someone who is 'almost single' because it's a challenge. On the other side of the coin, I know some who specialize in being 'almost single'. Opposite sex friends with benefits trully do exist and likewise, opposite sex friends with emotional benefits. Relationship status can be used as a convenient measure to get other things in life. You get the picture.

So bottom line is, sometimes a relationship status is open to interpretation. What someone may initially appear to be, single or occupied, may not reflect the actual state they are in with regards to their relationship. Also, a relationship status in friendster is nothing more than a guideline often times.

Whatever someone's status may be, or lack thereof, get to know them as a person. Know what questions to ask and know how to probe as appropriate. Find the the right time to ask. This way we have at least made an attempt to obtain a more accurate response; and therefore, get a better picture of what is going on. And it's important to pay attention to how someone replies to these questions. Of course, content matters; but get the feeling of the entire situation, if possible. This is where nonverbal cues and body language come into play. That's another topic.

I have a lot of single friends. And questions regarding their relationship status do surface from time to time. Some i can respond pretty easily and in a straight forward manner. Others do not fall into that black and white category. When that happens and someone asks me : is so and so single? Then i'd have to respond : 'Do you want me to tell you what I see?' OR 'Do you want me to tell you what they probably want me to say if these kinds of questions were to come up?' OR 'You can ask them yourself'

For example, if my relationship status was to come up, I'm always married. However, my husband and I do not always function as a couple. When I go out on my own or with my friends, I am and function as an independent, but still a married woman. If I am out with my husband, i function as a couple with him.

Pls do add any other possible relationship status interpretations you guys can think of that I haven't covered here