Here's an updated list of how to be a cool/happy Indo. And since I AM first and foremost Indo, I do follow some of these rules from time to time. Im not perfect and I can use some improvements, but I do try my best.
24. Never give hugs to others, ESPECIALLY to the opposite sex, under any circumstances i.e. for special occassions, greetings, etc. because it is too intimate and it is ABSOLUTELY 'haram'! A handshake is always appropriate and sufficient.
23. ALWAYS look good FIRST and nevermind how you feel. Feeling good is NOT important. Remember the key is to fake it!
22. Never show emotions! It's just WRONG!
21. Never admit any wrongdoings/faults/guilts because it is a sign of weakness.
20. Never take sincere compliments from your friends because they never mean them anyways.
19. Always have 'gengsi' a.k.a. save face because we love fake people. Real people sucks.
18. Weather-talk makes for great conversation & is the best way to connect with people. Never share your real thoughts & ideas because they are much too personal.
17. Always be politically correct. Being politically incorrect is always rude and inappropriate. Remember our roots to always 'jaga image' aka 'ja-im'! It's the only way to go.
16. Never take reponsibilities for your words & actions so that you will not look bad in the end.
15. Turn down every opportunites to meet new friends. Be exclusive & stick with your old crowd. It's much safer this way.
14. Don't forget to bribe your way to get what you want. Money always talks.
13. Never be on time because being on time is only for serious, stiff, uptight people. We Indos are laid back!
12. Never be straightforward. Always be passive agressive. Then they'll get it and it's the only way to go! Saying what you mean and meaning what you say is only for lame people.
11. Show off to your friends your branded personal belongings i.e. your LV, Prada, Gucci, Versace, etc. The bigger and more visible the item/logo, the more prominent it is; and therefore, the better.
10. Do not have any integrity whatsoever to your words/what you say. Just make things up as you go.
9. Indo parents : Always play blind and be in denial about your kids and their love lives.
8. Impose unreasonable, strict, harsh rules to your kids while they are growing up; so that when they leave home for the United States to go to 'school', they can go buckwild!
7. Pay someone to take your exams, do your projects, & get you through college. And buy your diploma.
6. Buy the most expensive car so that the valey guy can park it right upfront when there is the annual Indo U Club party. And remember, you ain't hip unless you are seen in a BENZ or BMW rollin in Beverly Hills!
5. Never dance in the club. Just have a cel phone on your left hand & a cigarette on your right and drink yourself to death. This is cool!
4. Attend all the Indo parties.
3. Indo girls : NEVER get a suntan! It's a sin & you'll be cursed for life. You'll never get a boyfriend & you can forget about marriage. Cover all parts of your body i.e. your arms & neck with long sleeve shirts while you are driving your car. Don't forget to use the umbrella when the sun is out.
2. Make sure you visit Beijing/China before you die. Monterey Park & Chinatown do NOT count!
1. Make sure you sign up with friendster and log in EVERY DAY. Have at least 500 friends just for show because IT IS all about competition of who can get the most friends.
Feel free to add more to these rules
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